I’ll Tackle You to the Ground at Filene’s Basement Blowout Sale - Part II

... I looked.

And looked.

Looked again.

No black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress.

Checked the dressing room.

No black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress.

Asked the little Russian woman organizing the clothing on the racks, “I just saw it,” she said.

I told her I had it earlier, but I put it down. I joked that I guess I shouldn’t have done that.

She replied in a thick Russian accent, “No. Not today!”

And she was right. I know that. I learned that at Loehmans. I call it the Loehmans mentality. Never walk away from something you’re interested at Loehmans. It may not be there a moment later. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.

This is actually the reason why I buy too much. I don’t want to let anything go.

Suddenly, I woman with about 50 dresses crumpled up in her arms, passed in front of me. In the pile of fabric, I thought I spotted black silk. OMG. It was my black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress!

I walked over to her and asked, “Are you going to try that on?”

If so, I figured I’d hang around her in case she didn’t want it anymore or it didn’t fit.

But instead, she immediately spat, “I’m buying it!!”

I turned around and sulked back to my place in line, in front of the woman who kept smacking my booty with her hanger.

The woman in front of me asked, “So, did you find it?”

I told her my story. She responded, “You should have never looked like you were interested! You know how women are, she’ll buy it just because you wanted it.”

Damn! She was right. But I thought I’d be honest. Honestly always wins out in the end.

Doesn’t it?

Oh well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

I stood on line again, which was moving like a dead turtle, and plotted. How was I going to get that dress away from that woman?

The dress that I didn’t need earlier, I was obsessed with and couldn’t leave the store without.

Myself and the line ladies discussed it further. About 15-20 minutes later, they pushed me to look again. At least for the second dress.

I left the line.

Re-checked the racks.

Re-checked the dressing room. The dressing room ladies looked for me.

No sign of the woman with my black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress. Was she on the line now? I didn’t see her.

And where was the second black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress?

Nothing.

I sulked back to my place in line… Empty-handed.

The line had moved forward a little.

While on the line, I spotted the woman with my black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress. She had about 100 items now. My black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress was one of them.

Damn!

I pointed her out to my friends on line. The woman behind me, who kept poking me with her hanger spewed, “She looks mean!”

We all laughed.

As we got closer and closer to the front of the line I dreaded the fact that I would check out without my black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress.

I thought about offering the woman with my black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress my place in line if she would just give up the dress to me.

I didn’t do it.

But I did keep seeing the little Russian woman who organized the racks. I decided to asker her. One last time.

“Excuse me, but did you happen to see the black silk Escada wrap dress again?”

“Yes!” She said in her thick Russian accent. “I have it. I thought you left.”

“What??? I have been on line all this time. Can you get it for me?”

And she did.

The other ladies on the line started screaming and cackling as the woman brought the black silk Escada wrap dress to us.

“Oh, it’s beautiful! You must wear it for New Year Eve!!!” They screamed.

I thanked the worker.

I was five people away from the front of the line.

I guess it was meant to be.

I’m glad that I was honest and didn’t tackle that woman to the ground for my black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress.

After all, honesty IS the best policy.

I’ll Tackle You to the Ground at Filene’s Basement Blowout Sale

I went over to Filene’s Basement in Union Square last night to check out the sale. They will be closing this Friday. I actually had a present to shop for and figured I could do pretty well there.

I’d been visiting Filene’s periodically since I first learned of their closing. The first time, I bought a fabulous Valentino jacket for 30% off. The next time, I found a pair of black Valentino trousers for 60% off the Filene’s price. Yesterday, the high end designer stuff was 80% off.

Oh yeah! I was gonna buy something if it killed me.

Pickings were sparse, but there was still some Valentino and Escada left. Some of the items were trashed, too big, or too small. But I didn’t care. I tried everything on I could squeeze myself into.

It’s so hard to shop for those Italian designer pieces. A size four in Italian is NOT a US size four. You can’t fit your big toe into a size four in Italian. And the numbers are 38, 42, etc. It’s fine. It just makes shopping a little tricky.

I tried on some pants, skirts, and a black silk Escada wrap dress with ruffles. It looked like trash on the hanger, and there was a size 40 and a size 42. I think that meant a US size 10 and 12. I tried it on. It was a little big on me, but I wasn’t sure. The price tag read $599.99, so I put it back and proceeded to take my two items to the checkout.

I walked over to the check out line. And made my way to the end of the line. I walked.

And walked.

And walked.

Are you kidding me right now??

And walked.

The line wrapped around the floor from one end to the other.

Oy! Do I really need this stuff?

Yes. When else can I get a pair of winter white Valeninto flare leg trousers for $79.99?

I also had an ankle length black satin Escada skirt. It was a little too tight, and I’m not sure I can sit in it, but I couldn’t put it down. It didn’t have a price on it. I asked the funky looking sales girl, with the most fabulous haircut I ever saw, the price. She told me it was probably about forty bucks. They’d tell me at the counter.

She had very short, cropped hair on the sides and a huge pompadour on the top. Kinda like Elvis in jailhouse rock, but higher.

I got on the end of the line with my two items.

And waited.

I waited. Even though I didn’t even know how much my stuff was going to cost!

Everyone on line had these huge garbage baskets on wheels, filled (and I mean filled) with all kinda crap. Crap was dripping off the sides!

And then there’s me.

The woman in front of me was cracking jokes. The woman behind me kept hitting my buttocks with her hanger.

Whatever.

I was getting hot and bored after about 25 minutes waiting and wondering why I was there. I thought about the black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress. Hmm. I wonder what 80% of 599.99 is? I took out my iPhone.

What???!!!

$119???!!!!

Are you flippin’ kidding me right now?

That’s it???

Why didn’t I just buy the damned thing for the love of God!

I decided to ask the woman who kept hitting my tucus if she would hold onto my spot for a moment while I checked on the black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress. I would just go and get it. Bring it right back to the line. And I would feel better...