Shoenniversary

I recently went on a Shoenniversary to the Bergdorf Goodman shoe sale with my BFF’s Sookie, Pam, and baby Tara.

A few years ago, my niece, Pam, suggested we go to the Bergdorf Goodman shoe sale to celebrate the start of summer.  She had never been, and we thought it would be fun.  And it was.  I think I even blogged about it.  You can take a look at past blogs if you like.

Anyway, we had so much fun, (we purchased about ten pair of Louboutin and Manolo Blahniks combined) that we decided to go every year.  So, this year rolled around and we found ourselves back at Bergdorf Goodman’s shoe sale.  This time, we also added a visit to the Christian Louboutin store on Madison Avenue.  They were having their bi-annual sale as well. 

I was in shoe heaven at our Shoenniversary.  And so was baby Tara.  She was happy as a clam.  Perhaps we’ve created another shoe-aholic.

Although, I really wanted to purchase that day, I didn’t.  For some reason, I just couldn’t find anything I loved in my size.  I was sad, but my wallet was happy.

I thought, "I made it through without buying!  Maybe I’m making progress with my shoe-aholic-ism.  Yay for me!"

Well, that was a month ago.  Yesterday, I returned, to the Bergdorf Goodman shoe sale.  It was still going on!  And the prices were further reduced. 

Oh, it was so much fun. 

I tried on a pair of crystal Jimmy Choo’s.  OMG!  They were beautiful and $2000.  But for half price, they were a steal!  They were exactly my size and looked fantastic on.  Only, they heels were wobbly.  So.  No big deal, right?  They were gorgeous!  I was considering them, but I didn’t purchase.

Something made me leave the building without doing it.

I emailed my BFFs, this morning, the following:      

I have a confession to make...  I re-visited Bergdorf's shoe sale yesterday.  

Without "yous guys"

Made it out alive.

Without buying anything.

Even though now EVERYTHING's 50% off.  

Even the LOUBOUTINS!

Really low stock.  

But still some good stuff, according to me!

 I've been thinking about it ever since.

Even though I made it out alive, I thought about them all night long, in my dreams, and again this morning. 

That’s not healthy.

And that’s why I shouldn’t have gone.

So, He Didn’t Kick the Cab THAT Hard, Did He?

I saw him today.

The ‘kick the cab’ guy.

After five years.

And he looked as handsome as ever.

Damn.

I was still attracted.

Shit!

I missed him.

Fuck!!

About six years ago I dated Lafayette. I was really crazy about him.

Really.

But I had to break up with him after three months because of his bad temper.

One evening out in Manhattan, as we were crossing the street, a cab cut us off. Lafayette became so angry so quickly that he kicked the cab as it passed. And I got scared.

It was at that moment that I decided I couldn’t be with him even though I was crazy about him.

I know that I mostly write about the nutty stuff that goes on in my life here, as a single woman in the big city. But what you don’t know is that I was in an abusive marriage. It was so scary that I can never go back. So, any sign of any kind of abuse from anyone; a boyfriend, girlfriend, boss is a red flag for me.

So, you can imagine my fear when the kick the cab moment took place.

To make a long story short, I broke it off with my sweet heart.

Seeing him again today really hit me.

So, here I am.

Alone,

As usual.

Thinking about it. Six years later.

And wondering if people can change.

When we all know they don’t.

Then, wondering if I over reacted.

He Didn’t Kick the Cab THAT Hard, Did He?