Shhh. Be Vewy Quiet. We’re Hunting Wabbits.

I went to a mixer for a potential Jersey Shore share house last week. I did this house about two years ago and thought I might do it again this year. I knew a lot of people from my house two years ago. So that was cool. By the end of the night, two guys asked me for my number (I was having a good hair day). Both of them were in my house.

They were all, “Oh, hello. It’s nice to meet you.”

I was like, “Um, I was in your house last year. We met already.”

“Oh really?”

I mean, how stupid can you get? It’s not as if I was 400 lbs. two years ago, and had gastric bypass or something. Or as if I was a blond, and now a brunette.

Whatever.

One asked for my number. He had his Blackberry ready, so I gave it to him. The other was looking for a pen. I told him to look me up on Facebook.

I really wasn’t interested in either of them, but the male attention was nice. Also, I figured, they’d never call or write anyway.

Sure enough, a few days later, bachelor number one emailed.

A few days after that, bachelor number two friended me.

Wow. I must have been having a better hair day than I thought!

A few more days later, my phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number. I stared at my phone.

Hmmm.

Should I pick it up?

I don’t know.

Maybe I should.

Maybe I shouldn’t!

What should I do??

I hate picking up an unfamiliar number.

But then, I decided to go for it.

Live life on the edge, BSM!

I picked up, “Hello?”

“Hewwoe.” Replied a very quiet, timid, high pitched male voice.

“Hello?”

“Hewwoe? The voice sounded kind of like Elmer Fudd. “Is this Blue Shoes Manhattan?”

Ok. I thought. This person just said my name. They know me. But who is this??

“Umm. Who is this?” I asked.

“Lafayette.” Doing his best Elmer Fudd impression. It must be hunting season.

As soon as he said his name, I quickly began trying to think if there was anyone I knew named Lafayette. Taking inventory in my head. I couldn’t.

Who. Who. Who could this be?

I tried to stall, saying stuff like, “Oh, hi, blah, blah, blah. How are you?”

Finally, I asked, “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”

“Lafayette, from the Shore house.”

Bachelor number two.

He asked me out.

I turned him down.

Just call me Buggs Bunny.

Looks like it’s gonna be an interesting summer.