There’s No Place Like Home

I was invited to the New York Philharmonic on Saturday. 

Ok. 

It was with my plastic surgeon date.

Season tickets.

Front row center. 

Mezzanine.

It’s not everyday I get to attend the symphony, so I was breaking out some fabulous duds.  I decided to wear my black knit YSL dress, Versace coat, Chanel bag, and Christian Louboutin Lady Claude Swarovsky crystal peep toe pumps in fire opal red.

I must say, I looked fabulous.

Everything turned out great.  Hair, makeup, and outfit.

Jumped in a cab, and off I went.

Asked the cab driver to take it slow.  I didn’t want to be early.

How often does that happen?

Turns out I arrived about ten minutes early.  I hate being early for a date.  I much prefer to make a grand entrance.

I also dislike being late.  But I’d rather be a minute or two late than be there waiting for a date.  Don’t wanna look too desperate.  Even if I am.

So, instead of going into the restaurant, I dipped into Duane Reed to kill a little time.

I looked around for something my Mom needed, then roamed around.  I was a little overdressed for Duane Reed.  But, whatever.

I stepped up to the cashier to pay for my purchase.  There were some folks ahead of me, so I waited patiently.  As they left I stepped up to the counter, the salesgirl shuffled away from the counter.

I thought she was going off duty, and I was going to be pissed.  But then she said, “I just have to come out so I can see your shoes.  I saw you walking around earlier and needed to take a closer look.  They are so beautiful!  They look like Dorothy’s ruby slippers in Wizard of Oz.”

I thanked her, grabbed my bag and made my way up the escalator.  As I approached the revolving exit doors another young lady complimented my Louboutins.

I met my date.

After dinner, I hit the restroom.  A woman in there commented as well.

Well, my date didn’t mention anything.  Hopefully he was interested in more than my shoes!  And I don’t mean my chicken neck.

Your Money or Your Shoes

My sister, Sookie, just reminded me about a shoe story that happened several years ago and decided I must share.

I’m going to tell you something and I beg of you, please don’t judge… I used to shoe shop at Nine West.

Yes, I said it.

It was before I discovered where to purchase my lovely Louboutins, Diors, Manolos, Prada, and Yves Saint Laurents.

I had been eyeing a pair of turquoise blue satin peep-toe sling backs with green and blue beading, in the window of Nine West on Fifth Avenue. One day I decided to go in and try them on. And so I did.

I was definitely going to buy them. Now it was just a matter of which size; the eight or the eight-and-a-half. Every time I buy a new pair of shoes, that is the main dilemma. I agonize over it every time.

So, it’s 45 minutes later and I finally decided on the eight-and-a-half. It turned out, the shoes were very rare and there were limited sizes. I asked my sales girl wrap them up and agreed to meet her at the register.

I was standing at the register, waiting for the girl to ring up my shoes, when all of a sudden a SWAT team burst into the shop. They locked the doors and announced that no one could come in or go out of the store. There had been a robbery.

Everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and looked around at each other. I was still at the counter. I grabbed my shoe box and ducked, just in case of gun fire.

Then I looked up at my sales girl, standing behind the counter and whispered, while hugging the box, “Could you please just ring these up real quick so I can get out of here?”

She looked down at me in disgust as the SWAT team handcuffed the assailant.

Well, I do have my priorities.