Starfucks

I really don’t know what I want to write about this. I could talk about coffee I guess. The truth is, I really just love the title.

I stole it from Sex and the City, Season 5, when Carrie and Samantha went to California by train. Prior to the trip, all the girls were at lunch, joking about opening up a brothel for women. With male prostitutes. They could have one on every corner, like Starbucks. And call it Starfucks.

Clever, right?

No, I’m not going to tell a story about how I once owned a brothel…

…Or about coffee.

… or about Sex and the City.

Although, Starbucks is a great concept. I mean, the coffee’s great, right? But what I really like is the fact that you can sit in there for hours and nobody kicks you out. I mean, in New York, you can’t hang around anyplace indoors without getting kicked out. I mean last summer, I got kicked out of a posh restaurant in the Hamptons as soon as the coffee was served. The waiter practically pulled the cup out of my hand mid-sip for God’s sake! It was like a tug-of-war or something. Can’t a girl just sit and chat over coffee after a great meal anymore? I guess not.

My sister, Hadassah, was rushed out of a Long Island diner once. Jeez. What’s the world coming to?

In Europe (and Queens) you can sit and chat for hours, over one cup of coffee.

This is the case at Starbucks. There, you can sit for hours. Some people don’t even buy anything to drink or eat in there. Folks are having major business meetings; everyone’s on their laptop; kids in strollers; people reading the paper along with sipping on their $5 vente Carmel Macchiato.

I was there a few weeks ago. You couldn’t even get a seat! There was a long table of people studying for something. One guy was pacing back and forth talking to himself. It took me a while before I realized that he was studying. I thought he was either psychotic or talking on his Bluetooth. He couldn’t sit at the table and do it. He had to stand up, pace, and talk out loud. Flailing his hands. I don’t know about anyone else, but that was totally stressing me out. If I was doing work or studying, I would have had to leave. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. If he wasn’t going to be doing all of that, he probably should have been doing that from home. Don’t ya think?

People can be very annoying, can’t they?

But I tried to ignore him and enjoy my Grande Decaf Iced Coffee in a vente cup.

And nobody asked me to leave.