Reasons 2

When I got home, I immediately got on my computer. I had tried searching for him in the past, without luck. But those times I only used his first and last names. I got the idea to add his middle name and see what came up.

I looked on Facebook. No luck.

I Googled his full name. A few names popped up. But how could you tell if one of those was him?

My Space? Nope.

I typed in the high school name and graduation year. But you had to sign up and pay in order to get info.

Then some sites came up which do credit checks, etc. One gave several names and relatives names.

I was getting closer.

Then a site gave several partial email addresses that he might have. That gave me an idea. I could type in is first initial and last name, then do “...@hotmail.com, ...@aol.com, ...@yahoo”, etc. So I did.

I did like six emails like that. I wrote, “Eric? Is that you? I just heard “Reasons” tonight on WBLS Quiet Storm and thought of you. If this is you, please write back. I’d love to hear from you.” Something like that.

I did it. Then, just forgot about it.

The next day, I received a few emails saying that those emails didn’t go through. Something about, “Undeliverable” or “Error” or something.

“Oh well,” I thought. I’ll have to think of something else. I just didn’t know what that was yet.

After 11 PM that night, my Blackberry chimed. I had an email. I ignored it. Probably Shecky’s telling me there was a big shoe sale on. And God knows, I do not need one more pair of Christian Louboutins. Come to think of it, can one really ever have enough Louboutins? I think not.

And further more, now that I have two Blackberries, I’m flippin’ tired of looking at that damned thing all day long. (Is the plural of Blackerry, ‘Blackberries’?)

I digress.

About 20 minutes later, I took a look.

The email said. ‘I only know one Blue Shoes Manhattan. Who is this?”

Hmmm. Maybe I’ll write back. Maybe it’s him. How many people even know anyone named Blue Shoes Manhattan? My heart was pounding.

I wrote on my Blackberry, “Did you live on Sesame Street in xxxx Town?”

He says, “Were you best friends with Sookie?”

I’m like, “Were you buddies with Bill Compton?”

“It’s me! Blue Shoes Manhattan!”

“I can’t believe it’s you! I’ve missed you forever!”

What? My high school crush missed me forever? He ignored me throughout four years of high school!!

I wrote back, “I’ve missed you even longer than that.”

It was really him. My high school crush!

This went on for hours. It was really so exciting. I can’t believe I really found him and he was receptive and didn’t delete me!

I fell asleep writing to him.

The next day we started again. He asked if he could call me. I agreed.

So, I spoke with him the next day. It was so surreal. Like a dream. His voice was the voice I remembered, just a little more polished. He would never call me in high school. How I longed for him to. And now, 30+ years later, there he was, on the other end of my phone, speaking of how nervous he was to talk to me. How happy he was to hear from me. How lucky we were to have found each other.

I didn’t want to get off the phone. I didn’t want to wake up.

Turns out, however, he was married. Has been for 20 years. Two grown children.

But of course he was. It’s me we’re talking about! If he were available, he probably wouldn’t have missed me or he wouldn’t have written back, or something. (Not that there’s anything wrong with me, but that’s just my luck.)

One thing I know, if I died tomorrow, I’d be satisfied in the fact that Eric, the love of my life, liked me too.