Friday, December 30, 2011

I’ll Tackle You to the Ground at Filene’s Basement Blowout Sale






I went over to Filene’s Basement in Union Square last night to check out the sale. They will be closing this Friday. I actually had a present to shop for and figured I could do pretty well there.


I’d been visiting Filene’s periodically since I first learned of their closing. The first time, I bought a fabulous Valentino jacket for 30% off. The next time, I found a pair of black Valentino trousers for 60% off the Filene’s price. Yesterday, the high end designer stuff was 80% off.


Oh yeah! I was gonna buy something if it killed me.


Pickings were sparse, but there was still some Valentino and Escada left. Some of the items were trashed, too big, or too small. But I didn’t care. I tried everything on I could squeeze myself into.


It’s so hard to shop for those Italian designer pieces. A size four in Italian is NOT a US size four. You can’t fit your big toe into a size four in Italian. And the numbers are 38, 42, etc. It’s fine. It just makes shopping a little tricky.


I tried on some pants, skirts, and a black silk Escada wrap dress with ruffles. It looked like trash on the hanger, and there was a size 40 and a size 42. I think that meant a US size 10 and 12. I tried it on. It was a little big on me, but I wasn’t sure. The price tag read $599.99, so I put it back and proceeded to take my two items to the checkout.


I walked over to the check out line. And made my way to the end of the line. I walked.


And walked.


And walked.


Are you kidding me right now??


And walked.


The line wrapped around the floor from one end to the other.


Oy! Do I really need this stuff?


Yes. When else can I get a pair of winter white Valeninto flare leg trousers for $79.99?


I also had an ankle length black satin Escada skirt. It was a little too tight, and I’m not sure I can sit in it, but I couldn’t put it down. It didn’t have a price on it. I asked the funky looking sales girl, with the most fabulous haircut I ever saw, the price. She told me it was probably about forty bucks. They’d tell me at the counter.


She had very short, cropped hair on the sides and a huge pompadour on the top. Kinda like Elvis in jailhouse rock, but higher.


I got on the end of the line with my two items.


And waited.


I waited. Even though I didn’t even know how much my stuff was going to cost!


Everyone on line had these huge garbage baskets on wheels, filled (and I mean filled) with all kinda crap. Crap was dripping off the sides!


And then there’s me.


The woman in front of me was cracking jokes. The woman behind me kept hitting my buttocks with her hanger.


Whatever.


I was getting hot and bored after about 25 minutes waiting and wondering why I was there. I thought about the black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress. Hmm. I wonder what 80% of 599.99 is? I took out my iPhone.


What???!!!


$119???!!!!


Are you flippin’ kidding me right now?


That’s it???


Why didn’t I just buy the damned thing for the love of God!


I decided to ask the woman who kept hitting my tucus if she would hold onto my spot for a moment while I checked on the black silk Escada ruffled wrap dress. I would just go and get it. Bring it right back to the line. And I would feel better...



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