I thought we were going to go out for drinks, not have a sleep over!

I decided to move to Manhattan so I’d have an easier social life.

I was wrong.

It was difficult living in Long Island and going to events in the city. I always had a million bags with me and was wearing goofy work clothes to an after-work party. Then, it was a whole ordeal getting a train back to Long Island.

I remember one time, driving in to a party with my LI girlfriends. They drove. They were so late picking me up, that we literally missed the party!

I really have a pet peeve about lateness. But that’s a whole other blog post I guess.

So, once I started living in the city, yes, getting myself to events was easier. The problem is, NOBODY ELSE LIVES IN THE CITY!!!

None.

None of my friends live in the city. Half live in LI. Half in New Jersey.

So, when there is an event in the city, they want to sleep over on my couch.

Now, I’m a generous kind of gal. But I’m no push over.

If I let them stay over once, they would assume they’d sleep over every time they bought a pack of gum.

They’d be like, “Ok. So, we’ll go out for dinner, then drinks, then in the morning blah, blah, blah.”

“Huh? Um. Excuse me? Did I say anything about the morning?”

Why is it, if I make plans to have drinks with someone that I have to be prepared to make them coffee, scrambled eggs and bagels the next morning?

Fuck that shit.

I wanna sleep late in the morning. I want to walk around my apartment with hairy legs and my hair in a three-foot afro all morning. And not brush my teeth until noon, dammit!

If I have company I can’t do that. AND my place has got to be tidy.

What the Fu--?

Ok Mom. So I didn’t curse that time. That one was for you. You, who does not even read this unless I force you too!

I once had a friend who wanted to hang out in the city. We were making plans for weeks. Then she popped the question. “What are we gonna do the next morning?”

To which I replied, and which is the reason I no longer have this friend, “Oh. I thought we were going to a concert, not having a sleep over.”

Ok. So was that so bad?

The friend then said, “Oh. Then let’s do it another time.”

You mean to tell me that if this person wasn’t going to be able to sleep over my place that we weren’t going out?

Yep. It’s true. And it’s not just one person. This happens all the time.

F- them!

If they want to sleep in the city so bad, let them pay rent and New York prices. Or get a friggin’ hotel room.

It’s different if I offer. But THEY ask. How rude.

It just happened again the other day, which is why I’m thinking about this again. A friend from Jersey asked if I wanted to go to an event with her in May. I said yes. She said, “Can I sleep on your couch?”

Damn! I was caught off guard. I didn’t know what to say. How to respond. But it’s hard finding girlfriends in New York City. And beggars can’t be choosers, right?

So, I guess I should clean the bacteria off my couch.

Hmmm. Or should I??