Is This What My Life Has Become?

I was out with Yenta Hessa last week. We went to grab a bite to eat. The restaurant we went to was busy. We left our name at the door, “It’ll be 50-60 minutes”.

We went to the bar.

Turns out, you can eat at the bar as well. I really don’t like to do that, but since it was late, and we were hungry we decided to try. Only thing was, the bar was packed as well. So, we scoped out seats. Me, on one side of the bar, and Yenta Hessa on the other.

Nobody was budging.

After about 35 minutes, we saw a couple start to get up. I walked over to them. But on my way a chubby old man approached the couple. He was about a hundred and two years old. He wore old man glasses and had old man hair. You know, totally bald on the top, with grey fringe down the sides. His friend looked like Homer Simpson’s boss, Mr. Burns.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

“Are you going to take those seats?” I asked.

“We’ve been waiting for an hour!” He exclaimed.

What a gentleman. So much for chivalry.

Take the seat, I thought, as I walked away.

We waited some more.

Then some seats opened up near Yenta Hessa’s area. We sat. “Ahhh.”

I look to my left, and there’s Santa Claus and his elf sitting next to me.

His friend was even older, maybe a hundred and sixty two. He had the same white baldy fringe hair, but his head was loaded with liver spots.

Oy, I’m going to loose my lunch.

All of a sudden I hear, “Do you come here often?”

Are you kidding me?

Ebenezer Scrooge is hitting on me!?!

I turned to him and smiled.

Then I turned to Yenta Hessa and whispered, “Is this what my life has become? The Winter Warlock just asked me if I come here often!!”

Yenta shook her head.

Then, he continued. He was a lawyer in the building, and blah, blah, Charlie Brown’s teacher.

I didn’t hear another word he said. All I could think of was how my life came down to this? How could this hundred and seventy five year old man think that I would seriously ever want him?

Do I look old? Do I look his age? Do I look close to his age? I don’t understand!

Has time flown by so quickly, that I didn’t realize I’m a hundred and seven too?

Needless to say, I didn’t enjoy my dinner.