Bitches On My Bus

Today I was on the bus. I was wearing a cute pair of Miss Me flare leg jeans, a red leather short jacket, leopard print shoes, and Dior sunglasses. Nothing outrageous, right? I know, I didn’t think so either. I’ve worn a lot worse, let me tell you.

So, I get on the bus. I walk to the back to maybe get a seat. No luck. So, I stood in front of a couple of women sitting down, and held on. I noticed they were looking me up and down, then looking at each other saying something I couldn’t make out. They did that several times. I’m watching this, thinking, “What the fuck? What are they looking at? I mean, is my fucking zipper open or something?” And they were no great shakes. They were old and haggard and not dressed up. Nothing impressive at all. Who the fuck were THEY to judge ME?

So, I looked at them and waved, “Hi.” And smiled.

They immediately stopped and looked at each other again. Shrugged. One of them said something to me. I really couldn’t hear anything because I wear earplugs on the bus and subway. Hey, it’s really noisy. They expose you to bus noises. That really loud beeping sound when they are lowering the bus. Then the breaks are really loud. Then, when you get on the bus the people are really annoying yapping on their cell phones like they are home alone in the privacy of their apartments. Speaking freely and louder than they would than if they were at home. It’s a pet peeve. So, that’s why I wear earplugs.

So, the older woman looked at me and said something along the lines of, “I wasn’t looking at you," or something. Then she looked at her buddy.

I just responded with a shrug.

Then the other bitch looked at me and looked surprised. I waved ‘hello’ to her as well. She glanced back at her friend like, “What? We weren’t saying anything about her.”

They were so totally busted and were guilty about it. I just stood there, over them, and looked straight ahead. I mean, I looked calm. But all the while, I was thinking, “What were they all flipped out about? My zipper WASN’T open. (I looked to make sure.) I matched. I was not dressed outrageous. I know when I am dressed a bit outrageous.

I just decided that they were jealous. And chalked it up. Shook it off.

I’m minding my own business, not bothering anyone. I mean, I’m just out there, taking the bus. Trying to get to where I need to be. You can’t even get on the friggin’ bus without dopey people givin’ you shit.