I’m Late for a Very Important Date

This is the largest mall in the US. The Mall of America. I’m in Minneapolis.

I have a rented car and a 9:20 AM flight to ,,,

wait for it ,,,

Omaha, Nebraska.

What a thrill.

My mentor suggests I leave the hotel at around 7:30 AM to make it on time. I figure, she’s done this before. She knows what she’s talking about. I thought it might be cutting it a bit close, but I thought I could do it.

So, I woke up at 6:30 AM to begin the metamorphosis, which takes an hour. And I leave at 7:30. No coffee. No breakfast. I’ll pick something up at the airport.

I’m driving to the airport, reversing the written directions given to me by my mentor. The GPS Hadassah loaned me didn’t work. But that’s another story. I’m doing good. Then I start to see signs for the airport. There was an exit. I took it.

Hmmm. This doesn’t look familiar. I was lost.

I checked the directions, I checked Google Maps, but you need an address for that to work and I didn’t have a street address for the airport. I asked directions and got back on track.

I find the airport. But which terminal am I? Terminal 1 or Terminal 2? It didn’t say on the signs along the way. So, I just picked one and then tried to find the rental car return. The women then tells me I’m in the wrong terminal. So I drive to the other Terminal to return my car.

Done. It’s now 8:40 AM, which was boarding time.

I followed the directions of the woman at the rental car area to the tram which was supposed to get me to the gates. I waited for the Tram. Once on, I saw a pilot and asked him if this was the correct Tram after the doors closed. He said, “No. We just left the area you need to be at.”

“What the fu--?”

Now I’m starting to get the sweats. I’m almost crying on the damned Tram.

“What do I do?”

He’s like, “Get off at the next stop and go across the tracks and get the next Tram back.”

“Thanks.” Sniff, Sniff.

“Maybe you’ll make it.”

The next stop, I get out and wait. It’s 8:55.

I was supposed to meet my mentor at the gate. I’m not there! I reach for my cell to try and call her, but I couldn’t get a signal.

I saw some more pilots and stewardesses. I decided to follow them. Then I decided to ask the woman what to do and where to go when we get there. The stewardess was really nice and receptive.

I had a voicemail. It was my mentor leaving a message. She told me that she realized that something happened since I was not at the gate, but that I could take the next plane out if I missed it. She was pretty calm. Then she had to go since the plane was boarding.

The stewardess said, “Don’t worry. Stay with us. We’ll get you through. You’ll make it.”

The Tram came. We all got on. Me and the Delta staff.

9:05.

My heart is beating out of my chest.

The nice stewardess prepped me on our approach to the terminal. Once we got there she led me toward security and let me go first. I zipped through. All they pilots helped me quickly pass through the metal detector checks as well …

… And I was off to the gate!

9:10

I’m running now, to the gate. Did I mention what I’m wearing? I’m wearing my grey Tahari dress, Gucci pumps, Dior oversized sunglasses, carrying my silver Yves Saint Laurent handbag and my blue and purple leopard Betsey Johnson carry on luggage. Can you picture me running through the airport in that get up?

Then I started getting out of breath and my legs started to hurt, because I’m so out of shape due to my back injury. I was loosing steam and my muscles were hurting. But I had to keep going. It was 9:15. The plane was leaving at 9:20.

I see the gate. I’m getting closer! Oh, it hurts. Keep going! Don’t stop! You CANT miss this plane because you are out of shape!! You can rest later. Run, Blue Shoes, run! Go, go, go!

As I approach the Gate 14C I hear an overhead announcement that this was the last call for the flight to Omaha. I got to the gate.

Out of breath, I handed the boarding pass to the attendant.

“Go right through."

“I’m in!!!”

“I MADE IT!” I thought, as I boarded the plane. Still out of breath. I got on and found my seat waiting for me.

I was sweating and still out of breath. I settled in and prepared to take off. Then we waited.

And waited.

And …

,,, Waited.

Ironically enough, we then sat in the aircraft for two hours waiting to take off.

I just lost two years off my life.