Guess what? I got it. I got the job! Lisa clearly didn’t. But really, are we at all surprised? Lisa officially blew that interview at about midnight that night. In between married guy numbers two and five!
But you’ll never believe what she did next!
If you recall, myself and my friend, Lisa, interviewed for the same job. She was friends with the interviewer, Ariella. And after our interview, Lisa invited Ariella, (who’d be the boss of whomever got the job) out with us. Lisa is married with a couple of kids.
Meanwhile, while we were out that night Lisa was trying to hook up with all the married men we met at the bar. She was not only trying, she WAS hooking up with them. It was as very wacky night. Lisa was busy hooking up, while, in my mind, I was still on a job interview. Who cares that it was 2 o’clock in the morning?
Well, my geekiness paid off. Because I got the job. A really great job too. I won’t be poor anymore. Yey!
So, I really just found out that I’ve got it. I’m all excited about this awesome new job. I was trying to work things out like filling out paperwork for the company and deciding when to give notice. How much notice to give, etc. I hadn’t yet made an announcement at my current job yet, when I received some text messages and voicemails from… who? Yes. Lisa.
Well, she IS my friend. I was glad to hear from her, even though I thought that maybe she was nuts, anorexic, bulimic, adulterous, and a nymphomaniac. Given her behavior at our interview from hell.
So, later that day, Lisa called again. I picked up. Was happy to speak to her.
“Hi Lisa! How are you?”
“Hi. Yeah, I know you got the job, so I want your job. I want to call Bob (my boss) and be the first to ask for your job.” Lisa quickly articulated about a-mile-a-minute.
“Huh?” I was confused and stunned. “You want to do what? You can’t talk to my boss! You can’t talk to anybody. I have not told him I accepted the new job yet. Nobody knows. You CANNOT call ANYBODY!!”
“And furthermore. How do you even know? I haven’t told anybody yet!” I mean, at that point, no one but the new company and my mother knew.
“Well, I have a relationship with people at the company.”
“Oh really? Does that mean that you can know my personal business? Or give you the right to blurt it to the world before I have a chance to tell them first???” I thought. I didn’t say that. Instead I just sat there with my jaw on the floor. Dumbfounded.
“Well, I want to be the first to ask him, not the twelfth. I know everyone’s going to be asking for your job and I want to get to him first.”
I went silent.
Then I said, “I’m speechless. I really don’t know what to say to you.”
She then went on to apologize for her behavior. But it was too late. She already did it. It was unacceptable, man. Don’t you think? I finally got off the phone with her and called Hadassah, my sis, and ripped Lisa a new asshole.
Meanwhile, I got a text. From Lisa. “I’m sorry … blah, blah, blah. Good luck with the new job. You’ll be great at it.”
Yeah, right. Whatever.
Delete.
I was so pissed.
After a couple of days, I cooled down. I realized that I got the gig, she didn’t. She was an asshole. I wasn’t.
What I was, was done. Done with Lisa…
And my old job.
I see a Chanel bag in my immediate future.
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