Absence of Malice

You remember Malice? She’s the frenemy. The one who I was stranded in Puerto Rico with during the volcanic eruption. She monopolized my relationship with Avi. Yes. Her. Believe it or not, I’m still friends with her, but I keep it real casual.

Don’t ask why (because I still do) but I agreed to go on another singles trip with Malice. As if I didn’t learn from the last trips I spent rooming with her. But it did it again. And I regretted it. I still do. And I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ll never do it again, all right??

I thought it would be ok. Because this time, Malice had a boy friend, Tevye, back at home. Well, he wasn’t exactly at home, he was a long distance boyfriend. But a BF just the same.

So, we’re on the trip. Things are going well. I met a guy, named Yankel, from California. He was single, nice, cute, and the right age. I liked him. I was thinking he was liking me too. A group of us were hanging out by the pool one day, when Malice starts flirting with Yankel. Wha--?

What’s up with that? She can’t do that! She’s got a boyfriend.

Well, apparently, she could.

Margarita and I started questioning her on it. Malice answered, “Yes. I’ve got a boyfriend, but I’m NOT dead.”

Oh yeah, if she keeps it up she’s gonna be! I thought.

“Hey! That’s not fair! One per customer sweetheart! You already have a BF. Give someone else a chance!!” Margarita and I exclaimed.

Malice didn’t get it at all. I guess according to her when the cat’s away …

So, the weekend progressed and Malice continued to flirt with Yankel. I’m really not into fighting over a man, so I just kept quiet. Figured if he liked me, he’ll go for it. But he kinda flirted with both Malice and me.

The last night we were there, we went to a formal dance, to which we drove a car we’d rented together. The night was winding down. It was about 3 AM when Malice came over to me and said, “You’re still having fun, I’m going back to the hotel with Yankel. You can get a ride back later, k? Bye!” And she was off.

I was busy picking my jaw off the floor when I ate the dust of my rental car speeding off into the night.

Did that just happen? I couldn’t believe it.

Got a ride back to the hotel from none other than Shitless from Seattle and went straight to the room with my Louboutins in my hand. Put in the key. Open the door.

It’s locked …

… from the inside.

What???

I knocked on the door to my own hotel room!

Nothing.

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Finally, it opened. Inside I see Yankel run into the bathroom and Malice acting weird. When I saw that I threw my shoes down, went into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. When I came out, they were gone. I went straight to bed.

Next day, I barely spoke to Malice. I was so angry. I guess I was a bit passive aggressive at that point, but I just didn’t feel like talking to her. But then, she asked me if anything was wrong.

“What’s wrong?!? WHAT’S WRONG?!? You wanna know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong!!!”

And I proceeded to tell her what was wrong. I yelled at her. Told her off so bad. Now, mind you, Malice is a high-powered attorney. And I just ripped her a new asshole. Even she was left speechless.

Take that bitch!

Yeah, it was pretty ugly. But Malice had it comin’.

No, I don’t believe in fighting over a guy. None of them are worth it. But this wasn’t a fight over a guy. It was a fight over what was right. I wasn’t angry that she got the idiot guy, but that she left me without a ride in my own car at three o’clock in the morning, then locked me out of my hotel room for a guy.

We women should stick together. Be there for each other.

But instead, we’re cut throat for a lousy man, who is not even worth the price of a rental car.