A Great Spot

It is a well-known fact, that if you live in New York City, you shouldn’t keep a car. You know, because it’s really easy to get around with public transportation. And because you can’t park anywhere!!

We have ‘Alternate Side of the Street Parking’ or ‘street cleaning’ rules, here in Manhattan. With these rules, there are certain days and times in which we cannot park our cars on a particular side of the street. These times are set aside for street cleaning, during which, a big cleaning truck comes by and sweeps the street. Either the north side or the south side of the street is cleaned every other day. So, for example, signs on the north side of the street read ‘No Parking Monday and Thursday 9 AM to 10:30 AM’. If your car is parked on that side of the street on a Monday or a Thursday, you have to move your car to the south side of the street between 9 and 10:30, where it reads, ‘No Parking Tuesday and Friday 9 AM to 10:30 AM’. If your car is parked on that side of the street on that day, within that time, you will get a ticket of $115.

It costs anywhere from $200 – 500 per month in order to garage your car. So, there’s a whole community of drivers who park their cars on the street. If you get into that, it becomes a lifestyle, a cult even. It puts you in a whole other mindset. And you have no idea about it until you live it. Your entire day, your life, may revolve around Alternate Side of the Street Parking. Your social life could depend on where your car is parked. I’ve been known to stay home from certain events all because I had a great spot. Friends are like, “Are you comin’ out tonight BSM? I’m like, “No. I can’t move my car. I got a really great spot!” Erik Feder even wrote about it in his book, “Where to park your car in Manhattan”.

So, with a great spot, you stand to save $500 per month. If you are really lucky, and plan really well, you may not have to move your car for like a week, with a really great spot. I’ve been know to congratulate other parkers on their great spot, if I’m walking down the street and see them just getting one. “Hey! Great spot dude!! High five!” Hey, they’re a real find, and few and far-between!

There are given holidays when ‘Alternate Side’ is suspended. Days like Hanukah and Christmas. On these given days, one can park in these designated spots and not get a penalty. There is a calendar, which specifies these dates. Like right now, it’s Passover. I’ve got a fantastic spot. I don’t have to move my car till Monday!

I’m in the cult. I park on the street. So, I usually have to move my car on Thursday night or Friday morning (if my car is parked in a Monday/Thursday spot), etc. Sometimes, if it’s Thursday night, and I can’t find a legal spot, and it’s like 10 o’clock at night and I’m crying because I’m hungry and I just want to put my pajamas on, I will park in a Thursday spot and drive to work in the morning. This is a pain, because then, I either have to spend money on parking when I get there, or I have to find another legal spot downtown. Which is really no fun what so ever.

A trick is to sit in the car, in the spot, during the time that it is illegal to park there. So, you sit in the car on let’s say Thursday, between 9 AM and 10:30 AM (illegal times). They can’t give you a ticket if you’re sitting in the car. Only thing is, that when the street cleaner truck comes you need to move your car. So, you stay in the spot until the truck comes, then quickly move the car to the opposite side of the street. When the truck passes, you quickly move the car back to your spot. Then sit in the car, in the spot until 10:30. At which time, you can get out of the car and be parked for the weekend. But you need to do this quickly! Otherwise, in that time, someone can come and get your spot! Yes! Someone can just come in and snatch your spot up, that you’d been waiting for for an hour and a half, right from under you. People get really cutthroat at this moment. Dog eat dog. May the best man win!

A few years ago, my back went out. My sister, Doris, came, from Long Island, to nurse me back to health. My car was parked on the street. It was Friday. My car was parked on the Friday side of the street. So, I needed to get out of the spot. From my deathbed, I groaned instructions to my sister, “At nine o’clock, you need to go down and sit in my car until 10:30.”

“What?? Why??”

I gave her strict instructions on what to do and why. “You have to sit in the car. When the street cleaner comes you need to move the car in and out. And don’t let anyone get your spot!”

“Okay.” Doris leaves on her mission.

My phone rings. It’s my sister, calling from the car. “Another car is trying to get my spot! The street cleaner just passed.”

“Don’t let him get it! Pull right in!!!”

“Ok, ok!”

She did it. She came back amazed. “I can’t believe what’s going on out there!” She couldn’t understand that there was a whole cult of people doing this shit.

Once I parked in a spot which I thought was legal. I was in the spot for about a day. It rained that whole day. When it got back to the car, there were eight soaking wet $115 parking violations on my windshield! Whaaaaat!?! I had no idea what I had done. There were no signs saying that was an illegal spot. It was like $800 worth of tickets! Jeez!

I decided to fight it. So I went down to the claims department and waited until an officer would hear me out. I went down there, prepared with pictures of the street, the signs, my car. I asked, “Can they do that?” The officer said, “Yup. They can do anything. You’re lucky they didn’t tow your car.”

In the end, he only charged me a $50 fine. I was never so happy. But I learned my lesson. Don’t mess with the New York City Department of Transportation.

A good spot, like a good man, is hard to find.