Shitless in Seattle

I had to fly to Seattle for work. I knew someone in Seattle, and thought I’d contact him to tell him I’d be in town. I’d known ‘Shitless’ since 2001, from a singles group I used to travel with. I didn’t know him very well, but he always seemed very nice, but lived so far away, I never really gave him a second thought. Malice knew him. When she heard of my trip, she suggested I contact him. So, I did.

I emailed him about six weeks before the trip. He was thrilled to hear from me. We caught up a little. Sent each other recent pictures, etc. I heard from him daily and began to look forward to his lengthy emails and cute texts. I loved my cell phone.

Then, somewhere along the way, it went from friendly to flirty. He had sent me a photo of him on his boat. I commented, “Really gorgeous! Oh, yea, and the boat’s cute too.” I just thought I was being funny. But then he writes back something about how hot I looked in a picture I sent, and how he couldn’t concentrate on his work.

Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s not an ugly man by any stretch of the imagination. He is actually extremely handsome. I’d always thought so. Check! Designed commercial airplanes, check! Nice personality, check! Same religion, check! Thinks I’m cute, check! Originally from New York, check! Lives in Seattle,,,, ummmm.

Not so check.

But who knows? Maybe it could work? Love conquers all, right? We could make it work. He can move back to New York. After all, New York is fabulous! I was going for it dammit!

Then we scheduled a telephone call. A Saturday afternoon a few weeks prior to the trip. We talked for four hours. It was amazing. So easy, so fun, so exciting. My heart was pounding, my knees were shaking, I lost my breath.

We made plans for the trip. Initially, I just thought we’d have a drink or dinner one night. He asked if he could see me every day I was there. I was so flattered, I agreed.

He picked me and my roommate, Shirley, up from the airport. He looked cute in his mom jeans, and was absolutely charming during the ride. He dropped us off and waited for me to change for dinner. While Shirley and I walked from his car to the hotel, she turned to me and said, “I love him. If you don’t sleep with him, I will!” Shirley was happily married.

At dinner, it was exciting to actually be with him in person. I liked him. He was handsome. But right in the middle of a chew of my filet mignon, he kissed me. A real, full on smooch. I was taken aback. It was kind of inappropriate. But, ok. He tried. I knew where I stood. This wasn’t just friends. I didn’t really feel lots of chemistry. But really, for God’s sake, I’d just gotten there.

He picked me up the next evening. We went for dinner, drinks, and more drinks. Got back late. He tried to kiss me again. It felt awkward again. Like it really didn’t feel like anything. But that’s probably because it’s all so new and scary.

The rest of the week went like that. Late nights out, early days at work. One night he came out to a work party and met all my work friends. My friends were like, “I love Shitless.” It was like I had a boyfriend!

But things were feeling a little weird. Shirley thought Shitless was probably messed up because I didn’t sleep with him. She thought I should. I didn’t want to sleep with him. That would make me really attached to him and I didn’t want to be so attached at such a distance. I’d really be hurt badly if he dumped me from a distance. Not to mention, the truth was, I really didn’t feel like it.

Last day there, Shitless took me out on his boat and had concert tickets that night. After the concert we went for drinks. No talk of how he felt about me, what would happen when we got home. Would we start a long distance relationship? So, at drinks, I tried to get it out of him. But he wasn’t dishing. Then all of a sudden his demeanor changed, from a sweet, caring, and handsome man to a cold, ugly, mean guy. Telling me that I can drive myself to the airport tomorrow and that he didn’t feel making the effort to stay in touch.

I looked at him. Mouth open. Jaw dropped. Eyes wide.

“What? What did you just say? Did you just say what I thought you said?”

He did. I heard it right. I was being dumped ….. AGAIN! ……. In SEATTLE of all places!!!

I got up and walked out. Shitless following me to the hotel. I had his camera in my room. Went up to get it. Turned it over and slammed the door in his face and he was gone.

I was livid. I didn’t yell, or say much. I was disgusted and done.

I packed my bags that night, cursing the whole time. So angry. Mostly at myself, for falling for it again.

On my way to the airport, I get a call. Shitless. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to know if I could drive you to the airport.”

“It’s too late. I’m already on my way to the airport.” He knew damn well what time I needed to leave for the airport. What an asshole. Click.

I was sharing a cab with other co-workers. The cab was completely silent.

Well, what can I say? I’ve officially been dumped across the globe. But I’d rather be alone in New York than Shitless in Seattle.