Sandra Bullock. Didn’t I call it? Part I.

Sandra Bullock was a successful single sister (before marrying Jesse James). She didn’t get married ‘til she was around 40. She, like the rest of us, is of this (un) lucky generation, where women could become successful, perhaps more successful than their male counterparts, prior to marriage and children. Of course, this became okay, and acceptable during our generation. But it left a great many of us women, yes, successful but single and over 40. You see, when we were born, let’s say in the early to mid 1960’s, we were raised by Moms who were brought up conventionally. Our Moms were raised in the 1940’s. They did not go to college or have aspirations of professions, for the most part. Their goals were very clear; marriage and children. That would be their success. The husbands’ roles were also very clear; marriage, good job, and provide for the family.

Nobody counted on the 60’s and the feminist movement. That all happened while we were growing up. So, our mothers started raising us one way, to be like them, but then as the times were changing, we learned we could be something else. So we started to become educated and qualify for fabulous “men’s” jobs. Or so they were called.

Then the pill was invented. And we were in control of our destinies. We could have sex freely and not wait for marriage. Like men.

Okay, so where did the men’s roles come into play in all this? What were their roles now? If women were allowed to be smart and successful and have sex, and didn’t really need them to provide for them anymore, what was their part? Things were not so clear-cut anymore. Roles were not so easily defined.

So, between the time we were born, and the time we were in high school, there were a whole new set of rules, which we were not prepared for because we were not taught it by our moms. It wasn’t their fault. They had no idea what was going on. They didn’t experience it growing up.

We all went on to get educations and great jobs and professions. So, we got married late and wanted to have children late, or we did not get married at all. But since we were having children so late, we were having difficulty conceiving.

A very good many of us got divorces. We got divorces, because now we could! If our husbands were not treating us properly, it was okay to dump him, and visa versa. We didn’t have to stay and suffer anymore. How great! And if we didn’t really like him so much after a while, we dumped him too.

If we didn’t want a baby we conceived, because it interfered with our educations or jobs, we could get rid of it too! Legally!

Some of us didn’t get married at all because of the stock of men out there in our generation were still on old school time. Now, remember, the same moms who raised us also raised them! However, while we were changing, THEY weren’t! They were still raised to be the man that got the good job and provided for the family. Macho.

But we wanted that too! Where did that leave them? CONFUSED.

We thought, ‘Too bad for them. They’d just have to get over it.’

But the reality was, we were fucked.

Why? Because women aren’t attractive if they have an opinion and tell anybody about it. Therefore, our male counterparts didn’t like us. They wanted to feel macho and have kids and a wife with dinner on the table when they got home from work, and weren’t finding it with our generation. So, they looked elsewhere.

A woman I know said it best when she said, “This is not what I expected my life to be. I was brought up to be an excellent housewife and mother. Instead I’m a single woman in the work force. What the heck happened?”

Can you believe that even Sandra Bullock got dumped?